Dichotomy

"Is it possible, in the final analysis, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another? We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close can we come to that person's essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?" -- Haruki Murakami (The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle)

Have you ever wondered why it is so important for us to know someone we deeply care about? Why do we take such pride in being somebody's confidant? Is it for them or, ultimately, for ourselves? So we can be secure. So we won't feel threatened. So we'll have something to hold on to,to keep them tied to us.

But, then again, sometimes there are those who spill everything out even if we are not soliciting stories. Does it give us the right to judge and put labels? Maybe not. Despite all the blabber, the more important stuff - the embarassing, the self-destructive, the ugly - will probably remain hidden.

At any rate, don't we all, in the end, get seduced by mystery? If we know everything, what then? It becomes boring. I think we're wired that way: we'll keep on probing the core of other's essences while we keep hiding facets of our own.